Freedom...Re-Imagined

(written May 5, 2009)

I spent 9 long, fun-filled years at the same place of employment. While I wasn't happy there, I was definitely comfortable. There were a lot of worse places to work. I counted my blessings amid gritted teeth.

Several times I tried to make an exit. The final time I tried, Holy Spirit told me "stay". That was 7 years ago. Fast forward to April 21, 2009. I blatantly was given the go ahead to go, so I went. In shock I tried to wrap my head around what just happened and what should happen next. I felt like a 9 year relationship had been ended, and that I wasn't the one who did the dumping although I was the one who was miserable. Once I got over that, however, I realized that I had been set free.

The first and second week I felt like a newly freed slave. I had cried to massah for freedom but now that I had it I was crying and wishing I could be back under massah's care. With massah I KNEW what I was up against. I had been with Massah long enough to know what I could and couldn't do and WHEN I would be compensated. Knowing full well that I could expect compensation on the 15th and the 1st of each month gave me a peace of mind. And it was that, I realized, that was bothering me the most.

The next week I sought God's face for clarification on how to process what was happening. And bit by bit He began showing me that it wasn't being apart from Massah that had me riled up, but shifting my thinking to accept a new paradigm. If all of my needs are met by God anyway, Massah was merely a catalyst to my needs being met. I had to ask myself... did I really NEED massah or had I just gotten comfortable in believing massah had my back? Was I Massah's child or was I GOD'S child? Was I up for a faith walk or did I prefer massah's shackles?

Thus begins the installation of my present season of life. The newest chapter to the book called ME. Exit lowly cog in a wheel. Be gone little sheep among many. I have been fully awakened from the mindless 9-5 sleepwalk.

Say hello to the Reluctant Entrepreneur.