Let’s Disengage from Comfortable Foolishness

If you are anything like me, then you can relate to comfortable foolishness. What is that? You ask. It’s just as it looks. It’s the foolishness in your life, that often stands in your way, distracts you, minimizes your spirit and draws you away from your purpose…yet you comfortably allow it. It involves hanging on to people, places and things that no longer serve you. Things that are a hindrance but are familiar.

Comfortable foolishness will not get you where you need to go. It will not bring favor or growth to your life. It will thoroughly disturb your peace.

This year, I realized that most of my life has been a miasma of comfortable foolishness. And I’ve grown just enough to be able to step back, identify it and dissect myriad reasons I allowed it.

Some of the foolishness I engaged in was because I didn’t know any better. For example, growing up I did not have any married role models and my primary mindset towards men were that they were, in some way, shape or form, out to get me. So with these two scenarios shaping my reality, it should come as no surprise that every relationship I had utterly failed and left scarring damage.

A more recent reason for me to engage in comfortable foolishness was out of fear. For example, when my purpose started to become crystal clear and the weight of its responsibility had me uttering the heaviest sighs imaginable at the thought of it, I often times found myself running to the nearest distraction, which was mostly men and trying to fix other people's problems. This allowed me to have unnecessary nonsense to focus on as opposed to what the Lord had set before me.

When I engaged myself in things that were absolutely beneath me on some level, I wore myself out trying to breathe life into something that was slowly trying to kill my spirit. My Pastor, Bishop J. L’Keith Jones, had a very good metaphor. He said that there were some of us that God had called to deep waters, but we insist on trying to dive into the shallow end of the pond. The shallow end appears safe, harmless and comfortable; however when you try to do too much in that area of water, you find yourself hitting your head on rocks, tangled up in seaweed and refusing to grow and live on the faith that one must have to navigate the deep.

For some, the shallow end is as far as their journey will allow. But if you are reading this there is a great chance that your journey will involve more than a simple doggy paddle or a treading of water or even floating on your back.

Life is a challenge for you because it is strengthening you. The path you are on has enough obstacles in and of itself. 

Moral of the Story:

Let go of what is comfortable but hindering your growth
…you can be comfortable or outstanding
......but you can’t be both. @bda

ROADMAP FOR MY 44th YEAR

What a month it’s been! I’m so thankful for the many lessons and blessings that this month produced. I am officially 44 years young and have removed enough trash from myself to fully live my best life. One of the things that has kept playing over and over in my brain is that there are more than 7 billion people on this earth, so I am not obligated to put up with less than I deserve; instead I will enjoy ME on MY time, continue to heal and grow and walk in my purpose and when it is time for me to have a HIM, I will know. He won’t be sleazy, shallow, unemployed, uneducated, hard to look at or difficult to deal with. 

I must always remember: I AM BEAUTIFUL AND KIND AND I HAVE OPTIONS!

I am thankful for my QUEENDOM (eff a tribe!). We are all daughters of the Most High God, therefore we ALL have the authority to speak life and help each other grow.

In addition to the many other gifts and callings You have so generously doled out to me, the one I am currently coming to terms with is that of healer. I hate to say it, but my mom was right; most of the Negros I brought home were supposed to be my patients. And because of the brokenness in me, I accepted all patients, regardless if they could emotionally “afford” me. And while I have verifiable proof that most of them got what they came for, they also walked away with a different type of wound, care of yours truly.

For more than 40 years I have been at war with myself. Despite the fact I was raised in a middle-class home, was decent to look at, was intelligent and educated and above all Saved. I was my own worst enemy, punching the air trying to fight myself. Unfortunately, several people got in the way of my battle and got assaulted, abused and cast down, without me taking accountability for my actions.

Stepping into this 44^th year, I am wiser. Not with street smarts or another degree, but with a knowledge of self that only life could provide. I remember who I used to be vividly. And if I ever forget, there are a plethora of people (probably standing in line) to remind me. I no longer relate to the past me. Why? Because she was made up of other people’s issues, bore scars from pain she didn’t deserve. She thought she was living, but in reality she was in survivor mode. Her loins were covered in manipulation and she had a breastplate of control. Her feet were fast and eager to run at the first sign of turbulence or minor inconvenience. She had no shield. She wore masks in the hope that no one would see her, when in reality it was she who couldn’t see herself.

I cried for her a lot this month; out of grief, out of anger, out of sadness and depression.

This year, I intend to seize every opportunity that will benefit who I am becoming and be rewarding to my soul. I will dwell in places where I am celebrated and eagerly look for reasons to celebrate those I purposefully encounter.

I will say “yes” when I want to. When I choose to and when God guides me. I will say “no” if I sense guilt, fear or that the need to please someone (despite how I feel) is my reason for doing something.

My daily affirmations will go something like this:

I love me unconditionally, flaws and all. I am excited about my growth and look forward to blossoming each day and making it better than the day before. I am obligated to no one. I am free, healed, delivered and set free. I am royalty in the eyes of God, and I will carry myself as a Princess with the spirit of a servant. My relationships with friends and others will be mutually beneficial or not a friendship at all. I am valuable, authentic, one of a kind and a blessing.

And just in being comfortable within myself, I will be a blessing to others.

I fully anticipate this year being my best year yet!