For as far back as I can remember, my nighttime slumber began the same way. I lay in bed with my trusty yellow pillow, cut off the television, shut my eyes, and began to envision me and my perfect love.
When I was a teen, these pre-dreams often consisted of me and the hottest white actor. So for a few weeks it would be me and Ralph Macchio (Karate Kid) having a picnic. Then it would change to me and Rob Lowe swinging on swings at the park. When MTV got big my knight in shining armor was Richie Sambora (Bon Jovi); we'd wander around the Magnificent Mile in Chicago. My most memorable and longest lasting pre-dream crush was John Taylor (Duran Duran) sharing a 16 candle-esque candlelight dinner.
As I got older, and more knowledgeable about love (and lack thereof), the faces changed (and actually turned a little more negro-esque thanks to Donnie Simpson and BET), but the concept remained the same: I was in love with a man who adored me and we lived happily ever after.
These pre-sleep visions were my only solace as I found myself in relationships that left me depleted, defeated and sad. My shrink will say I slept alot because i was depressed. I say i slept alot because my (pre) dreams trumped my reality.
Stay tuned...
14 years ago
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