15 years ago
When you love TOO hard
She said: No, I don't think you understand. You could break my heart into tiny little pieces and step on it and I'd apologize for getting your shoes dirty.
Grateful
Death knocked on my door yet again. And once again, as always, God answered the door and told death to go away. #byefelicia
So here's what happened...
I went to the doctor for a routine check up and the doctor did lab work. This happened on a Thursday. Friday he called me and said he needed to see me asap.
I went in that Monday, nervous, and he told me that my hemoglobin levels were low. The doctor ordered me to go to the emergency room. I really didn't get the big deal. I mean, who knows about hemoglobin? My doctor succinctly broke it down. He told me that normal levels of hemoglobin are at around 15. Mine were at a 5. He said, and I quote "If my (his) levels were that low, I'd (he'd) be dead." But some how, some way, I was alive with no symptoms.
I went to the E.R. and they admitted me. I had to have a blood transfusion.
As they pumped some benevolent soul's blood through my body, I had a chance to reflect. Seems I had been worried about the wrong things, and not concerned with my health.
Here I was having panic attacks on my way to work, wondering, fearful actually, that today might be the day I do something to get myself fired. And now, laid up in the hospital, it's like, here I am worried about losing my job, when I could have / should have lost my life!
It just puts things in perspective. And as always, it reiterates for me that every time my heart beats, it's purposeful. I am here for a reason. Big or small, I'm here to accomplish / do / witness something.
And for that, I am grateful.
Broken glass chronicles
I tried.
To love.
No, I did love. I succeeded there.
But his heart was like broken glass.
Silly me to think I could reconfigure the pieces without getting hurt. The pain has subsided, but there is definitely a scar.
I promise to remember (until I forget) without pain.....
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