He's God and You're Just Rafael

Rafael

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.

Pro – On the first date we talked until the sun came up

Con – 85% of the conversation was about his ex-girlfriend

Pro – I had a key to his house by day 4.

Con – Uh, I had a key to his house by day 4.

Con – He acted like a Jerk #capitalJ

Pro – The Lord started speaking to me about the fact that he was about to act like a jerk.

So let me run you quickly through the drama so we can get to the good part.

Rafael worked midnight's at Walgreen's so when I would end my shift at the casino, I usually stopped there for a few things. He was always pleasant. Always smiling. I meant to tell him he made a better cashier than a boyfriend. #sticktoyourdayjobhomey

He had this amazing girlfriend that he told me was an awful EX-girlfriend. Her name was *Stella. I only know how amazing she is because I talked to her and found out that Rafael was seeing us both. He told me she had no compassion and was a mean #insertcusswordhere. He told her I was naive and that he was using me for my money.

While he and I were dating, I’d get off of work and go chill at Walgreen's with him.  This one particular night he told me he would call me when he got off lunch. Since I was off work anyway, I just popped up at Walgreen's, like I always do. I pulled in next to him and saw he was on the phone. He looked at me and kept talking. No acknowledgment. I went and stood at the window. No acknowledgement. I tapped on the window, he gave me the 'sshh' sign. I asked “Are you talking to her?” he nodded yes. When it was time to get off his break he walked right past me and into the store #noacknowledgment. I had never been so blatantly rejected in my life.

God’s side:

A few weeks before this horrible incident happened, I gave Brandee a dream to alert her that Rafael was going to hurt her. When she woke up, she penned a one page journal entry.

Brandee: I don’t remember what it said now but my dream inspired it. Despite what my Father told me, I still saw Raphael. I showed him what I wrote concerning my dream and his jaw literally dropped. He looked at me in shock and slowly said, “How did you know?” That night he dumped me to get back with his ex. See? I should have listened to God.

Learn from my disobedience: When God warns you, listen. He loves you and only wants the best for you. So if he's giving you a NO where you're pulling at the hem of His garment for a yes, um, trust that HE knows what He's talking about. I mean, after-all... He's God.

Prayer: Even when I was in the world, I cried out to You God. And because of the quality of life I was living, I was unable to hear You. And when I did hear you I trusted man more than I trusted You. You are my love, God, my healer, my protector and my friend.  From this day forward, I will heed Your words. May each day involve me loving You, for who You are, even more.

 

Snatched...by God's design

When I was pregnant, my greatest fear was that I would suck at being a mom. I absolutely LOVED being pregnant; the stretch marks, the inner movement, just the thought that this damaged body was creating a beautiful life had me in a place of bliss. Carrying the baby was an absurdly easy task, but raising a baby seemed to be something you either get right or get wrong. And the love I had for my unborn son mixed with a tendency towards perfection meant one thing, and one thing only: failure was not an option.

After having such a wonderful pregnancy, I expected to have an even more awesome birthing experience. My vision: #insertideahandshere A mix of Fred Hammond and Faith Evans playing softly in the background. My husband kissing me on the forehead and telling me what an awesome job I was doing.

#Reality

There was no music playing, but conveniently my mom's favorite show "Law and Order" was playing on the television set. And even though I was on the cusp of birthing life into the universe, the half dozen or so people in my hospital room were more interested in what was on tv. I guess I expected people to ask me, "How are you feeling?" "Are you excited?" I hoped for meaningful conversation as I waded through the contractions. Instead I was called a brat and a drama queen for wanting the moment to be about me.

Even the husband kissing me on the forehead dream failed. I had been in labor for some hours, but had only dilated up to around 2 centimeters and I wouldn't open up much more. A few more hours of contractions and then a nurse came in and checked me and said enthusiastically, "Mrs. Jones, you're now at 3 CENTIMETERS!" Ok, that's progress! I'm with it! I'm getting there...slowly but surely. I was happy to be at 3, so when my husband blurted out "3? That's it?" he and his non-edifying comment were quickly and tersely ordered to leave.

Turns out 3 centimeters was as far as I could get. I wouldn't open up so my little precious boy could come out. Hence, I had a C-section.

How was it? You ask. Easy-peezy. As soon as they pulled the baby out of my stomach, they wiped him off and handed him to my mother. Yes, my mother. And she has been trying ever since to take the boy away from me.

Fast forward 14 years and she has finally gotten her wish. Stealthily she sought guardianship and won. Not because I was a bad parent but due to lies she and my sister told. That court date was, hands down, one of the worst days of my life. 

But I seek to speak healing within this scenario. And it is only by the grace of God that this can happen. Lord, I know that nobody, nothing, no situation is larger than You. The fact that this has gone in the direction that it has gone let's me know that it is happening for a reason FAR beyond my comprehension. In this, I acknowledge You as sovereign Lord, Head of my life. Not my will, but THINE be done.

In Jesus' name.

Amen.

Is It Wrong to be Angry with God?

Being angry at God is something that many people, both believers and unbelievers, have wrestled with throughout time. When something tragic happens in our lives, we ask God the question, “Why?” because it is our natural response. What we are really asking Him, though, is not so much “Why, God?” as “Why me, God?” This response indicates two flaws in our thinking. First, as believers we operate under the impression that life should be easy, and that God should prevent tragedy from happening to us. When He does not, we get angry with Him. Second, when we do not understand the extent of God’s sovereignty, we lose confidence in His ability to control circumstances, other people, and the way they affect us. Then we get angry with God because He seems to have lost control of the universe and especially control of our lives. When we lose faith in God’s sovereignty, it is because our frail human flesh is grappling with our own frustration and our lack of control over events. When good things happen, we all too often attribute it to our own achievements and success. When bad things happen, however, we are quick to blame God, and we get angry with Him for not preventing it, which indicates the first flaw in our thinking—that we deserve to be immune to unpleasant circumstances.

Tragedies bring home the awful truth that we are not in charge. All of us think at one time or another that we can control the outcomes of situations, but in reality it is God who is in charge of all of His creation. Everything that happens is either caused by or allowed by God. Not a sparrow falls to the ground nor a hair from our head without God knowing about it (Matthew 10:29-31). We can complain, get angry, and blame God for what is happening. Yet if we will trust Him and yield our bitterness and pain to Him, acknowledging the prideful sin of trying to force our own will over His, He can and will grant us His peace and strength to get us through any difficult situation (1 Corinthians 10:13). Many believers in Jesus Christ can testify to that very fact. We can be angry with God for many reasons, so we all have to accept at some point that there are things we cannot control or even understand with our finite minds.

Our understanding of the sovereignty of God in all circumstances must be accompanied by our understanding of His other attributes: love, mercy, kindness, goodness, righteousness, justice, and holiness. When we see our difficulties through the truth of God’s Word—which tells us that our loving and holy God works all things together for our good (Romans 8:28), and that He has a perfect plan and purpose for us which cannot be thwarted (Isaiah 14:24, 46:9-10)—we begin to see our problems in a different light. We also know from Scripture that this life will never be one of continual joy and happiness. Rather, Job reminds us that “man is born to trouble as surely as sparks fly upward” (Job 5:7), and that life is short and “full of trouble” (Job 14:1). Just because we come to Christ for salvation from sin does not mean we are guaranteed a life free from problems. In fact, Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble,” but that He has “overcome the world” (John 16:33), enabling us to have peace within, in spite of the storms that rage around us (John 14:27).

One thing is certain: inappropriate anger is sin (Galatians 5:20; Ephesians 4:26-27, 31; Colossians 3:8). Ungodly anger is self-defeating, gives the devil a foothold in our lives, and can destroy our joy and peace if we hang on to it. Holding on to our anger will allow bitterness and resentment to spring up in our hearts. We must confess it to the Lord, and then in His forgiveness, we can release those feelings to Him. We must go before the Lord in prayer often in our grief, anger, and pain. The Bible tells us in 2 Samuel 12:15-23 that David went before the throne of grace on behalf of his sick baby, fasting, weeping, and praying for him to survive. When the baby passed away, David got up and worshipped the Lord and then told his servants that he knew where his baby was and that he would someday be with him in God’s presence. David cried out to God during the baby’s illness, and afterward he bowed before Him in worship. That is a wonderful testimony. God knows our hearts, and it is pointless to try to hide how we really feel, so talking to Him about it is one of the best ways to handle our grief. If we do so humbly, pouring out our hearts to Him, He will work through us, and in the process, will make us more like Him.

The bottom line is can we trust God with everything, our very lives and the lives of our loved ones? Of course we can! Our God is compassionate, full of grace and love, and as disciples of Christ we can trust Him with all things. When tragedies happen to us, we know God can use them to bring us closer to Him and to strengthen our faith, bringing us to maturity and completeness (Psalm 34:18; James 1:2-4). Then, we can be a comforting testimony to others (2 Corinthians 1:3-5). That is easier said than done, however. It requires a daily surrendering of our own will to His, a faithful study of His attributes as seen in God’s Word, much prayer, and then applying what we learn to our own situation. By doing so, our faith will progressively grow and mature, making it easier to trust Him to get us through the next tragedy that most certainly will take place.

So, to answer the question directly, yes, it is wrong to be angry at God. Anger at God is a result of an inability or unwillingness to trust God even when we do not understand what He is doing. Anger at God is essentially telling God that He has done something wrong, which He never does. Does God understand when we are angry, frustrated, or disappointed with Him? Yes, He knows our hearts and He knows how difficult and painful life in this world can be. Does that make it right to be angry with God? Absolutely not. Instead of being angry with God, we should pour out our hearts to God in prayer and then trust that He is in control and that His plan is perfect.

Recommended Resource: Knowing God by J.I. Packer